I watch you play god Tell me, is something wrong Is the body you are given not enough control? Have you seen it all Have you lost yourself Go ahead, please excuse yourself After all You were just to create god itself And let it suffer through a thousand hells In a steel shell In your crushing claw Do you blame yourself For the living hell For your human god The perfect flaw Of carbon perfection The clay is synthetic The ribbon; the double helix of bone Ascending the physical, mental and digital The body left crooked and skewed A scarlett reflection Looks desperate for vengeance On the butcher that started it all The heart is a weapon And i will protect it I will protect you Like pietà I will protect you Sarò il tuo angelo But i know that i will fail you I’ll be Your angel Forever Forever

I am cold I am scared i’m alone i'm the scientist I’m a stone I am cold I am cold I am cold I am cold I am scared I’m alone I'm the scientist I am stone I am cold I'm the punisher I'm a dying man The chain began to tighten And the spirit starts division And i am left so cold Don’t say another word You will stay out of sight in the lake of my heart Forever. Try to come up for air but the flood is everywhere Don’t make another sound I’m the breach in your heart, i'm the stranger you always knew With my circular saw ill saw the two of us in two In the red sphere of the lifeless security camera We are bound by few, splitting threads And pulled apart- Like crashing cars, On bleeding ice, Inside our heart. Automaton Are you still there? You loved life once, What went so wrong? And if i stopped This hurt i’ve caused Would i regain The light i lost I’m pulled apart- Like crashing cars; On bleeding ice- The jaws of life Can’t save a thing Automaton All is lost The light is gone And pulled apart- Like crashing cars Can’t bear to watch Just kill the heart With arms outstretched Towards the sky God gave us hands To hold the knife Just pull apart The crashing cars The punisher This dying man Automaton With slipping palms And heels dug un- Til they are ground [And the scientist killed everything that made him alive In his pursuit of god. The birth of my heart.]

I hear a bell chime one hundred times Against the patchwork of the aniline sky The wind just blows like heavens on fire The light returning life after life This is the part that kills me the most, Where every time im pulled off the boat, Where every time we finally get close The pulling anchor wont let me die The tethered spirit won't let you live- Forever separate from the world that you’re in Separating ghosts in the cold Our arms are broken each time we hold I only wish to sink in this quiet My efforts are extinguished each time And just before the hundredth bell chimes Im torn out of death and back into life The morning came, the bell tower chimed The windy grass was so far from sight This cold pink shell has given me light The punisher has given me life The angel whispers one last goodbye With fragile, blue, translucent hands tied A shining cruelty sits in his eyes And patiently he raises the knife With pale hands the scalpel reclines And pulls apart the membrane divide The scientist, the c sectioned christ The storm pries open pandora's eye Just fucking exorcize me, i want to be cold Your turning arms, they just couldn’t hold, The fleeting words you know that I stole: Are all i left for you on the shore

The familiar compound bubbling Is a resonance of sheer tension before desperate morning My immediate environment is otherworldly The authoritative siren and hiss of machinery The scream of heat lamps like daylight deceiving Cellular flesh stretching from growth, To growing laboratory death fodder bellowing below me The blood The blood orange shine is deja vu restoring into memory like citrus pulp of the orange glowing Abhorrent. Please don’t let the horny morning light in. And the night becomes a chicken fight of clockwork between every tick Abhorrent. The coming of morning bears sin- When the finger of burning roaring pushes nail to skin When the doctor comes in Conditioning begins The motors desperate for any organism within the span of its existence Blades of my mechanical crucifix; a bug's life, and torn into pieces The vacuum detects movement in seconds The vacuum is perpetual motion; the lenia’s defective The swell of shag carpet pulled up from the ground up. The world opens up and my body stretched apart in the dyson I felt every tendon in tension Like a biological train grinds to halt on your bare flesh Like a silver pendulum resurrects before the next breath Like sun sets and the moon is birthed in a crescent stretch My prison repeats again- From utero, From incubation plexitube I am born again The motors desperate neurons recall our every moment infected, Crawl of my mechanical crucifix A momentary lapse of unhuman creation Unsignificant, unbearable, unrecognizable The body left unverifiable And that damn silhouette holding the vacuum could not even see me, Will not blink twice when my body’s beneath he And i’m reborn Restarting the lenia Restarting the meltdown I have always felt that low buzz of sentience Of cognition Every nerve has fired successively I do feel great feeling…

… And great feeling was the loneliness i soon grew accustomed to But to tell the truth It was never once something i got used to The flesh suit made bullet proof Between december and june A terrarium lie constant In spring, nothing blooms Nothing grew. Just a room Just a room Sunlight bled, Through moonlight, cracked Just a room Just a room Lights dim red To keep heat in 18 degrees celsius Then you were there Across the room Cold and thin Maybe content Maybe content Maybe a friend Maybe someone i could pretend to protect But by the end It looked nothing like protection You just stand there in acceptance of everything that just happened You breathe out and breathe in I see you smile, a ghostly smile Like you don’t know what’s happening to you But i think you know exactly what is wrong I think you’ve known this terror all along I think, i think you’re strong You set me free when i’m perforated in place

I left the lighthouse in the morning And reached the arctic by the evening I was lost in a flood, run red with your blood And the sun never sets it just circles the sea It's been eight days since you’ve died I don’t remember what you look like [god sinks it’s dirty eye down from the sky on me] So with breaking hands I trace your deepfake in the snow Falling and falling and falling and falling And Failing and failing and failing and failing And Falling and failing and failing and falling And Failing and failing and failing and failing I’m flailing and sobbing, a-turning and choking Hopeless and tired and grieving and losing Looking for something, something alive Looking for something, I wish I was like you The red sky has eyes for every time that you’ve died If only god could save me now For the translucent moon is falling down For the oceans dead and quiet and red For the wind no longer blows and the night won't end The scientist winding his rubber band arms And I was used as the spear So I twirled, and I twirled deep into your heart As you sat on the cross, like a deer And god, you, remain helpless with your arms up in heaven As the deer is rendered to blood God why wont you look at me The failure, the imprisoning Is there a single flooding wound you could stop Falling and falling and falling and falling And Failing and failing and failing and failing And Falling and failing and failing and falling And Failing and failing and failing and failing Falling and falling and falling and falling And Failing and failing and failing and failing And Falling and failing and failing and falling And Failing and failing and failing and failing Well the road is dark And my legs won’t work And the the drivers tired And the fire is submerged So if you were the tunnel I was the funnel I was the funnel I am the funnel It’s all my fault I just want to run But my legs won’t work I will scorch the earth I wish I was like you It shouldn’t have been you I wish god would kill me I’m alive and I’m squirming I wish I was like you, I wish I was like you, His hands held you lifeless I couldn’t be strong like carlos I couldn’t be strong like Klara I am still in the arctic But I think its time I go home before my departure I left an angel in the snow The daybreak was gorgeous And a new day turns over The grieving is torture The light won’t go out but the worst isn’t over To be very clear. To make it fundamentally understood- He didn’t spare you. The suffocating, cranking hands were a turning lever And he didn’t spare you. In the flash fire of grief- In the storm of rubbing alcohol The melting body gave out But i swear Somewhere There were soft ribbons of memory And a light. But to be very clear. To make it absolutely understood- He didn’t spare you And he wouldn’t spare me And he scoops me up And placed me inside the computer

Pale portraits of sky overlaps and overlaps and overlaps Telephone pole wire stretched so thin over its belly Quadrupedal steel robot automobiles And a breaking city sky I sit and watch from across the lake Ever-watching the ever-evolving city scape The lenia’s gone exponential Inside the personal computer I am soldered in I am cauterized skin to the motherboard; My green circuit conjoined twin And i can see everything I see every advert, i watch every tragedy I caught every trend, never late, never early I am every photo of your father, your daughter I am every pop up, i’m christ resurrected, I see through your doorbell, im your closed circuit jesus Slipping the clippers, the flooding, the seering The hurting, the pulling, the pushing, the violence, The clawing, the clawing and never once surface Operator, can you hear me Can you feel me, im unhappy I feel malicious, i feel sickened, I’ve become john horton conway, i’ve become the mathematician someone strip me of this cognizants I’m weaving a web and the weaving is torture, The seeing is torture, it won’t end till it’s over My brain has been raped and my body is useless I’m a chemical chain that is functioned to suffer

Someone Built a statue Behind the mirror But the more i think, The more it changes And i am shapeless Pushing backwards In a pool of water Pushing downwards Glimpsing Oh, everyone i’ve made a grave mistake If i could just wash away Underneath the wake My carousel, Like a whirly bug My protective shell Beneath the ground Where it’s nice and safe I make the same mistakes Time and time again I evade the blame Like the scientist I would split in two And i start to look Just like the statue So i make my way To the mirrors gates And the lock would break In my fingertips It’s all too much Oh yeah its the wild wild west Oh yeah. Keep your spurs on your feet and your knife in your hand.

A scarlet reflection Of vengeance, refracted The ribbon awakens the animus Rotate through the ceiling Amalgamate of protein And steel, gears lift the god thing up Dislocating and humanoid Christ pterodactyloid The opera is nearing an end Like clockwork it sets in Deja vu connecting The prisoner will leave the sky red

Somebody gave me A body to water The mother the father A soft light through curtains The glowing red ember December, the tether Black tea, and oranges A gorgeous contortion A lover to fail A failure to heal A healer to care for A sailor to wait for I wish I was like you You touch me. I love you The body is failing Im afraid I’ll be leaving Somebody teach me To hold it so sweetly The hard parts are scary The nice parts aren’t scary Somebody left me A phantom to shield me A memory to kill for A shore I can claw towards I am warm I am warm I am cold I am warm Im the prisoner Im in love with you Im a dying man We will meet again My strangest friend Cowboy I will always love you Car crash Day break Channels open Yellow silver The moon is cracking Above us Around you The sky is breaking I see you Smiling With eyes wide open And water swelling Across some ocean Of algae And shellfish Collapsing tear ducts with Lily paddles And pink swirly whirlpools The heart is defenceless I couldn’t protect it I’ll wish on a star And give you my wishes Cowboy I will always love you Cowboy I will always love you Cowboy I will always love you Cowboy I will always love you Cowboy I will always love you Cowboy I will always love you Cowboy I will always love you Cowboy I will always love you Try again.